Enthusiasm up front, one number, no apology anywhere.
The Counter Offer Email That Doesn't Apologize
A good counter offer email does three things in under 150 words: re-affirms that you want the job, names one specific number with one standard behind it, and invites the conversation forward. Enthusiasm, anchor, opening - the email needs nothing else. No apology, no essay, no menu of demands.
Most counter emails fail by doing the opposite: they bury a vague ask ("a bit more flexibility on base?") under three paragraphs of gratitude and hedging. Recruiters read those as "will accept as-is." The email below reads as "will sign at the right number" - which is the message that moves numbers.
The situation
Counter by email when you want the record, the precision, and the pause: your exact number and standard land in writing, forwarded verbatim to whoever approves the exception - no telephone-game softening, no on-the-spot pressure on you. It's the right default for the first counter, especially when the offer also arrived in writing.
Take it to a call when the relationship is already warm, the recruiter has signaled flexibility, or the package has several moving parts to trade live. Even then, the email's anatomy survives: enthusiasm, one anchored ask, invitation. Send the recap email after the call regardless - terms that aren't written down have a way of shrinking.
Subject: Re: [Role] offer Hi [Name], Thank you for the offer - I'm genuinely excited about [team/mission specifics: one real sentence, not flattery]. Before I sign, I'd like to talk about base. Based on [your standard: market data for the scope / the band for comparable roles / a competing range], I was expecting something closer to [$X - one specific number]. If we can get base there, I'm ready to accept. Happy to get on a call if that's easier. [Your name]
Say this
- Swap-in, sign-on bonus: "If base is fixed, a sign-on bonus of [$X] would close the gap - and it's a one-time cost on your side."
- Swap-in, equity: "I'd like to revisit the equity grant - [N] units would put the package in line with the market for this scope."
- Swap-in, start date / review: "If we can't move the number now, I'd like a compensation review at the 90-day mark, in writing."
- Reply to 'that's above our range': "I understand. Help me see what IS movable - sign-on, equity, or the review timeline - and let's make this work."
One specific number, at the top of the band you can source
Specific beats round, and sourced beats specific - '$168K, based on market data for this scope' outworks 'somewhere in the $160s'. If you can't defend the number out loud on the follow-up call, don't put it in the email.
How it sounds
The recruiter replies to your counter the same afternoon.
Why this works: You banked their 'we want you' and pivoted to the lever bands don't govern. The number conversation just moved to a budget line that's easier to approve.
What not to say
Don't open with the apology ("I hope this doesn't come across as ungrateful…"). It frames your own ask as excessive before they've read it, and it's the single most common tell of a counter that's about to cave.
Don't name an unanchored range - "$150-165K" reads as "$150K". Don't bundle three asks into one email; a menu invites them to pick the cheapest item and call it a compromise. One lever per email, with the next lever held back for the reply. And don't issue deadlines you don't have - "I need to hear back by Friday" without a real competing offer is a bluff with your signature on it.
Try it against someone who pushes back
Practice the call that follows the emailFree scenario · sign up in under a minute · she read your counter and has questions
Common mistakes
- Apologizing for negotiating. Hiring managers expect a counter; an apology just tells them it's safe to hold firm.
- Counter-offering a range. They hear the bottom. One number, one standard.
- Bundling base + bonus + equity + title in one email. A menu lets them grant the cheapest item and declare victory.
- Writing an essay. The longer the email, the weaker it reads - 150 words is the budget.
- Skipping the enthusiasm line. A counter without 'I want this job' reads as a fishing expedition and gets treated like one.
Questions people ask
Should I counter by email or by phone?
Email for the first counter: your number and standard arrive intact to whoever actually approves exceptions, and you can't be pressured into agreeing live. Phone when there are multiple levers to trade in real time or the relationship carries the negotiation. After any call, send the recap email - unwritten terms shrink.
How much above the offer should I counter?
Anchor at the top of what you can support with a source - market data for the scope, the posted band, a real competing range. The real constraint is whether the number survives 'how did you get there?' on the follow-up call. A defensible stretch beats a safe nibble.
Can a counter offer get my job offer rescinded?
A professional counter - specific, sourced, paired with genuine enthusiasm - almost never does; companies that have already decided to hire you don't walk over one polite email. What occasionally does: ultimatums, bluffed competing offers, or re-negotiating after you've accepted. Counter once, cleanly, before you sign.
What if they say the offer is final?
'Final' usually covers base, not the package. Move the same anchor to a different lever: sign-on bonus, equity, start date, or a written 90-day compensation review. If everything really is locked, you've learned where this company sits before you've signed - which is exactly when you want to know.
Practice the real thing
The techniques this uses
Drill it until it's a reflex
Practice the call that follows the emailFree scenario · sign up in under a minute · she read your counter and has questions